Wow. Today was a rough one. An extraordinarily unlucky, rough day. Just one of those days that feels like if something can go wrong, it's probably going to. It started with a sleepless night last night. Cade is going through a difficult phase, not sleeping for long periods at night, and waking up and staying awake for 30-45 minutes at a time, just wanting me to hold him. Finally, after getting up with him 4-5 times last night, I brought him to our bed. It's something we did a lot with Ella, but rarely do with Cade. That's a whole different story, but last night, I didn't care. We both needed some sleep.
I woke up early to the sound of Ella crying, "Mommy, help me!" Not knowing what was wrong, I jumped out of bed, making sure Cade was sleeping soundly and surrounded by pillows. I thought that would somehow slow him if he woke up and started moving around before I made it back. I ran down the stairs to find Ella in a crappy state. That's all I can call it. The girl had gone #2 in her panties, except it didn't stay there. I think her stomach was upset. The result was poo everywhere. And I mean that. It was everywhere! Ella was covered in it from head to toe. It was all over the carpet in her room, the hallway, the stairway, the dining room. The bathroom was even worse- it looked as though she had tried to finger paint in the stuff. As I'm standing there, trying to deal with Ella in her panicked state and trying to determine a plan of action, I hear a loud thump.
In my state of disbelief and trying to deal with all this crap, I had completely forgotten that he had been asleep in my bed. I left Ella and ran upstairs to find him laying by the bed, thankfully moving all his extremities, and more ticked off than anything. I tried to soothe him for a minute, all the while Ella is screaming at the bottom of the stairs, "Mommy, you've got to get this off of me!" Not wanting to take the chance of Cade crawling in one of the many piles of doodoo laying around, I stuck him in his crib with some toys and left him to deal with my other child. Needless to say, he was not the least bit happy, and, well, neither was I by this point.
After an hour of scrubbing the carpet and bathroom and throwing Ella in the shower, I finally had that horrible mess cleaned up. I decided we were going to get out of the house and hit the gym, figuring some exercise would be good for my mental state. The kids were both dressed, playing happily in Cade's room. I was putting my shoes on, standing 20 feet away, and I hear, "No, Bubby, don't put that in your mouth! You're not supposed to do that!" I ran over and asked Ella what he was putting in his mouth. She answers, "A screw! And he just swallowed it!"
I swept his mouth with my fingers, not finding anything. He wasn't choking or gagging, but Ella insisted that she had had four screws, had given one to Cade, and he had put it in his mouth and swallowed it (And yes, the big question is, what was Ella doing with screws in the first place? She had found them on a shelf from when Chris had been doing some work at one point, and thought it was a good idea to share with Cade). Anyways, I searched the carpet around where they had been sitting and couldn't find an extra screw. He didn't appear to be in any distress at all, but all I could think was that if he had actually swallowed a screw, it could perforate his bowel, or worse. I kind of lost it at that point, more in panic than anything else, but also wondering what else could possibly go wrong and how in the world could I be such a horrible mom?!
I called Chris and we decided we should call the pediatrician for advice. As soon as I hung up the phone, I looked over and saw a shiny screw in the carpet right where Cade had been sitting. Ahh, relief. But once I showed it to Ella, she said, "No, Mommy, that doesn't look like the one he was playing with," and then she decided that she had five screws instead of four. Back to square one. The doc agreed that we should have Cade scanned just to make sure there was nothing there, or if there was a screw, that it was in his stomach/bowel instead of his lung, and we would know to watch for it. So... two hours and two xrays later, our little boy was declared foreign-object free. Crisis over. Thank God for my wonderful hubby who rushed home the minute I called and saw me through that mess. I didn't even ask him to come, but I'm pretty sure he could tell in my voice that I needed him there.
Though we had no more trips to the hospital, the day just kind of continued from there. Ella spilled ice tea all over the couch and carpet. Cade, in turn, pried the lid off Ella's cup and spilled her cranberry juice all over the couch and carpet (Don't worry, I've added carpet cleaner to my grocery list since we've gone through an entire bottle today!). Tonight, he decided to wash his milk bottle in the toilet bowl. However, I did manage to catch him at the last second before he tipped his highchair over and knocked his head on the tile floor. Yay for me, right? Pretty sure that's not going to win me any Mother of the Year Awards today.
I try so hard to be such a good mom and then I have days like this. I know everyone does, but then the fear and self-doubt creep in. I find myself wondering, Do I have what it takes? Can I do this? I believe with all my heart that God gave these two particular children to me for a reason. He didn't give them to someone else. He chose me to be their mommy and I am so very thankful for that. There are things I am supposed to teach them that no one else can; lessons that will make them into the people God intends for them to be. I find a lot of comfort in that. God gave me these children in good faith. I know I have to have faith in me, too, but, man, sometimes it is so hard. I am praying for a better day tomorrow. It is Chris' bday, and I'm hoping for a super-fun and special day, accident-free. Keep your fingers crossed for us!!