I'm a little heavy-hearted today. A bit of an emotional mess to be exact. I go back to work this weekend, and it's hitting me harder than I thought it would. For several weeks after Harper's arrival, I was prepared to go back to work every weekend. I just didn't know any different. The time off has spoiled me, I guess, and now that the time is actually here, I'm not as ready as I thought.
I know what people say, that I only work part-time, just 26-28 hrs a week, so what's the big deal? The big deal is that I have gotten up with Harper in the middle of every, single night of her 11-week life. I have been here every, single morning when she woke up. Prior to that, I carried her inside of me for 37 weeks. That means she has been with me everyday for the last 343 days. The thought of being away from her makes me sad. You mommies out there will understand.
Apart from the emotional aspect, I'm not looking forward to going back to the flip-flop sleeping routine- being a day-shifter through the week and a night-shifter on the weekends. That's hard on a momma. To be honest, I'm not sure how I'm going to stay awake all night long, much less be on my A-game the whole time! I don't think I've been awake past midnight save a handful of days the whole time I've been off. Fingers are crossed it's like riding a bike, and it will all come back to me.
So that's my sob story for the day. Thanks for bearing with me. My house is messy, my floors are sticky, and there are dishes piled in my sink. However, I spent my afternoon hanging out with my big kids and loving on my baby, because I just couldn't bring myself to do anything else.