Monday, August 15, 2011

Counting down

The clock's ticking and, no matter how I try, I can't seem to slow it down! Two weeks from tomorrow, my baby girl will be off to kindergarten, and I'm not sure I'm ready!
I remember when she was a tiny babe like Harper. I would rock her late at night and imagine this very time, wondering what kind of little girl Ella would be at five years old, when it was time to go to school. This warm-hearted, thoughtful, creative, little girl is so much more amazing than I could ever have imagined. And she is beyond excited to go to school. She is looking forward to making new friends and playing on the playground. She wants to read, learn math, and, in her words, "find out everything else I don't know!" =)
She is so ready. I know that, and I'm excited and happy about all the new things coming her way. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared and nervous, too! Scared of someone stomping on her feelings and my not being there to pick 'em up, brush 'em off, and tell her everything's okay. Nervous about not being able to control what she is exposed to. We've been so fortunate up to this point, having our kids at home with me through the week and with Chris on the weekends. We've been able to protect and shelter their hearts and minds. It's so hard to take a step back and give up some of that control. I'm praying God will increase my faith and give me trust. Trust in the knowledge that He is the one in control of Ella's world, not me, and that He wants only good things for her. Trust that He will give me the strength I need to be the mom I'm supposed to be.
I take comfort in knowing I'm not the only momma struggling with these feelings this month. I'm praying for you all, too!! I never dreamed kindergarten would be so complicated! =)

3 comments:

JourneyWithTheCrosiers said...

Oh that made me cry, Melissa. In just 2 short years my Paisley will be off to kindergarten too. Preschool starts next week and I'm having a hard enough time with it.
Praying for you to find the strength to let go just a little bit. As an elementary teacher and a mom, I always treat my students like they are my own children. Every single day I love and nurture them. Hope this helps ease your mind and heart a little. :)

The McAfee's said...

I am right there with ya! We are off this morning! I'll be thinking about you! :)

davisclan said...

I"m crying too, friend...My Leah goes to kindergarden on Monday. I'm thrilled and petrified all at the same time. I'll lift you up as I think of you and Ella...an dfor her teacher to be just right for her!